These Three Things Remain
by Sakusha
Summary: After reading a few simple words, Subaru wakes up and realizes a few things about himself and his current situation, and sets to make things right.


Warnings and disclaimer: Spoilers for the end of Tokyo Babylon. None really for X.  Both of which are owned by the ladies of Clamp. 

**These Three Things Remain**

The Sumeragi stared at the plaque on the wall opposite himself. 

It was small, old, and in dire need of repair. Such was the entire building, an old church where he had just finished his recent business, and being tired from being pulled in so many directions as of late, he had to sit on a bench and gather himself before making that transition from paid Onmyouji to Dragon of Heaven.

This old plaque drew him and he could not stop reading the English words even if he had wanted too.

_"Love is patient_

_Love is kind_

It does not envy, it does not boast 

_It is not rude, it is not self-seeking_

_It keeps no record of wrongs_

_Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth_

_It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"_

These were just letters carved into cold stone, but for some reason they made warmth in places he would have better left untouched. The true nature of love, the very description was there in front of him and he knew those words to be true because he himself had felt all these things so long ago.  Somewhere in there he still did.  However as he turned these words around and around inside his head, one thing became ever clearer.  These were not the words that would describe the very one that he thought about when he thought about love. _Seishirou-san.   At one time he would have though all these things and more about the golden-eyed man. That man, the one he had slowly come to love in his youth. And Subaru never did anything half way; Subaru had loved him with his whole heart. And for that, the Sakurazukamori had thrust his hand through his sisters. He let her blood drown the sakura pedals of his tree. Was that for love? Was that kind?   All the things that had happened from that day forward were things that could never be described as love.  If these words had touched Subaru, the next one rocked him to his core._

_"When I was a child_

_I talked like a child_

I thought like a child 

_I reasoned like a child._

_When I became a man_

_ I put childish things behind me."_

Subaru chocked as he read, fully understanding the meaning. He had been nothing more than a child all those years ago, he had seen what he had wanted to see**_, and he had been acting as a child for the past nine years._ Past when he should have long since grown up. Albeit, a broken hearted child but a child nonetheless. He would probly never fully recover from what that man had put him through, but he had never even tried to go past it either. Like some forlorn child longing after a lost toy. It started to dawn on himself how thoroughly pathetic that really was. His sister had sacrificed herself, not so that he could muddle in his own misery for years on end, but so that he could live. It was time to grow up. To be a man and not the helpless child he had let himself be. He had a job and a destiny to protect.**

_"And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love_."

Subaru stood, pensive on those last words. There are people who still had _faith_ in him. Even if he lacked faith in himself.  There was still _hope_ for this earth, its destiny still unfortold. **_Love_**… well, the very word made Subaru ill. He hurt. That word hurt him. But he was not a stone. If he could still hurt, than he could still love. Not now… not for a while. Subaru was not a 16-year-old child; he was a man long since due to take his place among the rest of humankind. He would take his wounds as a lesson as to what love, real love would not have done.  Seishirou had felt something of that he was sure. But it was not love. Not love as it was meant to be. Not love as he had loved. Not what he would wish on anyone else. And not worth living as he had until now, an empty shell of what had once been.

As Subaru left the church grounds, he felt oddly free of the darkness that he had cast on himself so many years ago. He certainly could not go back to being the Subaru of his past, because to do that would be to ignore all that life had taught his up till now and that would be a tragedy in and of itself. But he could no longer stand to be what Seishirou had molded him into. To long had he disgraced his sister's death by playing that part. He would be something new and entirely of his own creation. 

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A/N- I HAD to write this. Doesn't anyone else just want to slap some sense into this guy?  I'm sure he was damaged, who could not be by what Sei-chan did to him, but good God, he still has people that care about him, he has importance, and I can't help but think he may be just a _little special to someone else. Hokuto would not have let herself be run through with Sei-chan's hand if she knew that all he brother was going to do with her sacrifice is try to fill some sick death-wish for the next decade. Love does not intentionally inflict pain. Nor does love enjoy watching those with pain inflicted upon them, much the way Seishirou does. Seishirou was brought up with the absence of love and emotions therein, and I think while he was infatuated with the notion, and I think he truly did try to love Subaru, he wanted to love Subaru, in the end he could not. Simply because he could not understand what love was. That is also a tragedy._

A/N – I set this before Rainbow Bridge, though it could have easily happened after.

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A/N - I figured that the church and scripture would fit among the psudo-christian overtones of the manga/anime. The scripture is taken from 1 Corinthians 13 (4-13.) of the NIV. Though I did not modify any of the words I did omit 8,9,10,12.


End file.
